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I Am Very Much Alone
I am very much alone No matter who is home Friends and family gather round While shivering drizzle fills the ground Windy wisps of misty tears Fleck my window’s taunting jeers Swirling laughter I conduct Through symphonies of comic pluck My guests enjoy the revelry My wretchedness they fail to see So to this act the part I play Until my darlings go away My house is quiet–calm–serene Darkness seals my soul obscene My loved ones melt into their dreams My mind is filled with miserable fiends I should retire and hold my wife But I’m too filled with nervous strife I pace the room, my search compelled Yet nothing sates, madness impelled The fiend Seppuku tempts my heart And begs the pain of life depart I’m ever tempted to embrace Death’s angelic smiling face Misty dawn now breaks the spell Of nighttime’s bitter darkness swell Yawning kids now fill my view Joyous heart aches all anew Until the darkness returns again To tempt my heart to mortal sin
Copyright © 2013 Sean P. Pratt, all rights reserved
The Origin Story: This is a very dark, moody poem. This was a school assignment (to write a poem) and I was in a pretty bad place emotionally. I wanted to express what depression was like. I wanted to say how entertaining guests is so exhausting all while this darkness creeps around the shadows of it all. I was able to overcome a lot of that, thankfully. Many thanks and love to my family. Depression is incurable, but there are things that can help us take a different view when faced with the iron wall. Another point about this poem: there are some who tried to help me make this less "poemy", as in removing the rhyme and extending the meter. However, I don't give a fuck about that shit. A true artist does not compromise their vision to sell or fit in. I like it when a poem rhymes. I think that my work is clever and my turn of phrase, all while keeping the mood of the poem on track. This was the first draft and I like it exactly as it is.